Movie: Thor: The Dark World

So yesterday night, I watched Thor 2 even though I had never seen the first Thor or Avengers.  And surprisingly, I enjoyed it. 


The acting was crap all round.
The editing was a major fuckery.
Continuity problems ravaged the entire movie.

And yet I still liked it.  It was great dumb action. The best thing about this movie was probably a sword-wielding Rene Russo, who is still pretty hot for a 59 year old woman, although we all know the hottest 59 year old woman ever is Christie 'you-can-never-be-this-fabulous' Brinkley. 

Kat Dennings, who played a beanie-clad sidekick to Natalie Portman's feminist-trollin' character, annoyed the heck out of me.  But that was probably not her fault.  Blame the writers of 2 Broke Girls.  Because every time I see this girl on screen, rolling her eyes, sucking in her cheeks and exploding with sarcastic 'wit', a bit of PTSD kicks in and I start to experience flashbacks of all the crappy promo ads that I've ever seen on TV for 2BG. 

Seedy looking guy: Welcome to my home ladies, dis is where dee magic happens. 
Laugh track.
Kat Dennings:  I'm sure you've made a few women disappear here.
Laugh track.

I punched myself in the face.
Anyway.

Natalie Portman really disappointed me in this movie.  Well, to be fair, she had nothing much to work with in the first place and an actress like her in a movie like this only means one thing:  $$$$$$$$$$$
It was like watching someone complete a chore.  Say this.  Do that.  Look scared here.  Complain here.
Most egregiously, Thor pretty much just risked losing the entire universe (Asgard and all the other realms) to protect her freaking ass.  I mean, he could have just destroyed the aether while it was in her, but of course, why the fuck would that happen.  They're lovers. So maybe Portman could look a bit more shocked/grateful/worried about the events taking place.  You know, maybe like whispering in a shocked voice 'The whole world might go to ruins because of me...' instead of stuff like 'well, I guess we're stuck here....'

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

Tom Hiddleston.  I was really looking forward to checking out how hot this guy really was.  I've heard things from both men and women so I was holding very high expectations of this double first Cambridge grad.  And I've got to say, I did not particularly like his character, Loki.  Yeah, he's hot.  But Loki is overdone.  That two second uber close up of his nefarious downward pointed face in front of Odin, with his narrowed eyes full of poison and lips seething with unspoken epithets, face plastered with white make up - I almost laughed out loud in the cinema.  It was a bit ridiculous how much they had to keep emphasising the fact that he was OH SO VERY BAD. YES I'M BAD I'M SO BAD AND HOT AND BAD.

Loki, in terms of character, is built like Jack Sparrow.  OTT wickedness, mannerisms and 'evil' stereotypes constantly reinforced through the explicit opinions of other characters.  But sigh.  Who can hate Tom Hiddleston. 

I did wish Malekith and his cronies had better things to say to each other instead of the boring 'WE SHALL RISE AGAIN AND KILL THEM ALL.'  Listening to Malekith speak to his elves sounded like Dumb and Dumber for a while. 

And then Chris Hemsworth.  Well................................ I congratulate him for graduating from Summer Bay.  He's come a long way. 

OH WELL, CINDY, IT'S JUST THOR 2, NOT 12 YEARS A SLAVE.