Taiwan photos

Shilin Night Market

A street full of Pet stores near my apartment in Daan district

Random roads

Xinyi District 

Inside Taipei 101

Cafe near university

More to come...

I went to Shanghai on a study abroad program (Nov 2013 - Jan 2014) !!!

Also, I've told so many stories and written so many articles and posts about the neon-lit, drug-addled debauchery of Shanghai's nightlife wonderful teachers and students at my host university that I can no longer be screwed writing about it again. Almost as worse as studying Shakespeare and VCE Chinese, this automatic expectation that I relate 'all the juicy details' of my adventures in Shanghai is one of the most tedious things I've ever had to do.  I HATE IT. I HATE IT MORE THAN THE FINALE OF AMERICAN HORROR STORY SEASON 3. 

ADSHFASIDHFAWEIUHDAFHDSAHFDWAUEFH.

Therefore, I will be linking everyone to the politically correct (nontheless truthful) article I wrote for E-Magazine. It will also be distributed at Monash University during O-Week, so look out for it.  If you're looking for some of those juicier details, visit my other blog (which unfortunately, is only accessible by a limited no. of people because I have nightmares about potential employers finding it during a stalking sesh and proceeding to shit their pants at my puerile douchebaggery).   

Anyway.

Yeah.  Shanghai is why I haven't been blogging for the last three months.  If I had to give a laconic precis, it would be:

Studying abroad in Shanghai changed my life, not because it drastically improved my Chinese, but because I met amazing people and made great, and I hope, lifelong friendships with many of them.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, YAY I CAN NOW BLOG ABOUT THINGS I ACTUALLY LIKE TO BLOG ABOUT.

Photos from my trip to China: Beijing, Tianjin, Foshan, Guangzhou, HongKong, Macau

 I still have a very ambivalent approach to this blog.  Should I keep my posts relatively tame and politically correct or just be the facetious douchebag that I usually am? 

If Gawker's Caity Weaver can write like a pretentious hotshot social commentator and still get a coolish job while sounding like someone you want to be best friends with, then mayhaps - there is still a future for me.

Facetious douchebag it is - here's a gratuitous smiley

^_^

I've never posted photos of myself on my previous blog.  I've had Facebook since the start of 2011 and I think last week was the first time I actually uploaded a photo album.

Point is.
I hate taking photos.
I hate seeing myself in photos.
What if I write something really offensive and 10 years later, my boss finds it and sees my photo and is like "WTF YOU'RE FIRED!"

#yolo
amirite.

My mum likes to clandestinely sneak up on me and snap a few - which is enough to put me in a physical malaise for the rest of the week when she goes "Oh honey, I just sent my friends in China a photo of you because they wanted to see what you look like!"  "Which...one?"  "Oh, just the one where you've just woken up and your hair looks like a cadaverous piece of shit."

THANKS MUM.

However. 
I'm going to try and change all this because lul pictures are worth a thousand words (even if my hair looks like roadkill).  Nothing is more powerful than visual stimuli (even if my hair looks like roadkill). 

So, here goes.

Edit: I totally regret this post (guess I WILL be keeping this blog a lot cleaner than my old)

CHINA 中国

After 14 years of stringent isolationist policies ranging from NO FRIENDS OVER to OVERSEAS TRAVEL? OK TASMANIA, my parents finally decided it was time to take me back to my motherland.  It was an overdue trip because I'm actually a really special kid.

I actually really wanted to go back to China.
I was so excited.
And.
I loved China. 
I loved China so much, that in the feedback I got for my first Asian studies assignment, my lecturer said:

"These arguments would only be put forward by a Chinese nationalist."

And from then on, I semi-proudly-semi-facetiously introduced myself to new peeps as that Chinese patriot who grew up all her life in Melbourne, Australia AKA a consummate weirdo.

(This is a big thing for me guys. Posting pics of myself. Somehow, this feels REALLY WRONG.)

Tianhe mall in Guangzhou. All the coloured sticky notes behind me are
notes left by people declaring their undying love on Chinese Valentine's day.

I'M COOL.

I look like such an investigative reporter here at a local street market in Foshan.
Look at me.
My shoes are made of melons.
Consummate swag.

Outside a seafood restaurant in Foshan.
There are small vulnerable children in that van.
#investigativereporter - live at the scene.

Why am I so obsessed with China?  Why do I feel so strongly about a country that until the start of this year, I hadn't been back to since I was four years old?  I'm sure the answer to this trenchant question has enamoured each and every one of you for a long time.  

Well folks, I was actually born in Foshan, China.  I came over here when I was two years old when human traffickers decided to sell me to two really hot Aussie lesbians  my parents decided to migrate to Australia and have another child.  They gave up great jobs to come here.  My mum worked as a radio DJ and my dad for the government.

Outside my aunt's apartment - Foshan.

After settling in Australia, my mum was fortunate enough to find a job at a nascent Melbourne Chinese radio station.  Being a radio DJ and a part time journalist, she gets to attend tonnes of events and parties and concerts.  But all of these events were of course, super Asian.  

Ever since I was young, I'd been taken along to countless concerts featuring Chinese opera and traditional dance.  At first, I thought they were kind of weird but I unconsciously began to develop a really deep appreciation for that sort of cultural stuff that none of the other kids liked e.g. no other ABC (Australian born Chinese [even tho I ain't even Australian born]) would know who Yang Liping is.

I also watched loads of classic Chinese dramas like The Return of the Pearl Princess and Journey to the West = my childhood.

MASSIVE FAIL.
Beijing pics now.

We went to Beijing the week during New Years'.
Also the COLDEST PERIOD in Winter.
Also the COLDEST WINTER that Beijing had experienced for the past
few years.
DIED.

BADASSERY: Falungong at Tiananmen outside the The Great Hall of the People
 (I think that's the one).
AI WEIWEI ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?

Now before I go on - let me reassure you that I am usually sane, reasonable and logical.  I am open to new ideas and I don't like being close minded.  And I am A CHANGED PERSON.

When I was younger though, my parents watched so many Chinese propaganda war movies and told me all about the Rape of Nanking.  They are as Chinese as you can get.

This is going to sound fucked up but I was that kid who got really excited when the history teacher was like "okay year tens, the next in class assessment is an essay on whether you think the atomic bombings were justified."  YUP. No prizes for guessing which side of the debate I chose.

I think I was the only kid to get an outstanding on that test.  I knew all my dates.  Got a little bit passionate.   Got a little bit scary.  

But I've matured since then.

This is embarrassing but fortunately I have very high self esteem.

Outside that swimming pool place they used for the '08 Olympics.
That's my bro. He's highly un-photogenic.
Not intended to be an insult.

SHE MUST BE FREEZING.
Dis newlywed.
But yeah. Photobombed dat sheet. Can't find the pic tho.

  I'm definitely not a nationalist in the conventional sense.  I can't even be regarded as a real patriot.

I mean, I love China in a way that's almost inexplicable.  I (have to) speak Cantonese at home and my parents are very much entrenched in the Melbourne Chinese community circle.  Apart from lifelong exposure to Chinese culture and being given the rare opportunities to see all these big wonderful cultural concerts - I had my own realisations.

Reading about the milk scandals, the toxic rivers, dying children, families in poverty, corrupt officials and most of all, the social injustice that seemed to be everywhere in the country - DAMN.

I was already pretty passionate about human rights but reading about all this abuse in China made me so desperately want to do something to help.  While I grew up in Australia, I felt that I had an ability to make a difference if I went back.

CORNY I KNOW.  And a very generic diaspora story at that.

Outside the gates to the Summer Palace.

But that's me - idealistic. 

And a bit machiavellian, as I like to think.

Hai gentlemen.

It's like I'm addicted to uploading photos of myself now.
Jezuz.
It's me kissing the Great Wall.

In Italian Town in Tianjin.

Random Beijing pic - near Tiantan. 

Macau pics:

Inside the Casino. But not in the actual gambling areas cos lul
21yrs + bitchez.

Outside Casino Lisboa. Centre of Macau.
Bro: What am I doing here.

A golden hotel. Better take a picture.

Hugeass golden building.  Better take a picture.

Shiny buildings. Better take a picture.

Bro: Get me the fuck out.

Who is this qt?

I enjoy architectural design = not pleb
Portuguese influences cos if you live under a rock,
Macau was a Portuguese colony. 

I'M FABULOUS.
Park in Macau. With lots of blue rubbish bins.

Bro: Okay fineeeeee I'll do the stupid hip thing. *duckface*
Why is he not the most popular kid in school already?
- Old streets of Macau at night.

The iconic St Paul's Cathedral. Built in 1602.
Bro: whut. 

Macau was very beautiful. The streets were paved with stone slabs and there was a heavy European feel to the city because of Macau's history.

Hong Kong:

Bro: Get me out. plz.
- Times Square, Hong Kong

Ughhhhh.

Bro: Fk lyf.

Both of us: CAN WE GO BACK NOW?!
(legit)

I'M COOL.

Next James Cameron.
- Hong Kong skyline at Victoria Harbour

Me: STOP SLEEPING.
Bro: Get me the fuck out of here.

Back in Guangzhou, Chimelong Resort Safari Park:

For five bucks, I would've stood up and screamed ANIMAL TORTURE!

Bro: Finally. Fun.

Har har I'm so hilarious.

Outside a local cinema.  We watched that new movie starring Tony Leung
and Zhang Ziyi.  Cbf looking up.

Mum: Come on and smile!
Bro: NO. Instead, I'm going to pretend to pick my nose and immortalise
myself like this forever.  Fk the world.
(If he sees this, he's going to kill me)

A marriage ceremony for 50 couples in Foshan.

Bro: Eughhhhhhh.
Massive movie set in Nanhai: that building is an imitation of the imperial palace!
Inside, there are many different locations where films like
Hawthorn Tree Forever and Ip Man: The prequel were filmed. 

Imitation of Suzhou.

An imitation of old buildings in Macau.

Where they filmed scenes in Ip Man.

A couple taking wedding pictures.
Photobomb opportunity not exploited.

Also, when we went, it was already really late and they were about to close.
In this massive movie park thing, only my mum and I were left wandering around.
It was surreal.

Outside a posh villa/country club/restaurant we ate at on our last night.

There were many memorable things about China.  I've blogged about them before so I may as well copy and paste it from my old blog if I really wanted to tell you what snake meat tastes like.

But the most memorable definitely had to be karaoke with these two qts:

AM I A PARTY ANIMAL OR AM I A PARTY ANIMAL?

Fyi yes. They are midgets. Dwarves. Whatever they want to be called.